cindyt02.txt

     Not getting an opportunity to be with Robbie again was probably one 
of the most frustrating things that happened to me as I was discovering 
my own sexuality.  The second was the decidedly mysterious disappearance 
of the electric vibrator and the penis shaped dildo from under my parents' 
bed.  As already mentioned, I looked the house over for them.  Wherever 
they were, I was unable to find them.       
     Once, when I was in a Sears store, I saw a vibrator very similar to 
the the one that was under the bed.  The attachments were similar, but 
not exactly the same.  I considered taking some money out of my savings 
account and springing for the $14.95 plus tax.  It was the fear of 
embarassment that kept me from going ahead with it.  I just knew that I 
would get that "knowing" look from the sales clerk.  It never dawned on 
me that a vibrator was really untilized for things other than sexual 
release.  After I moved away from home, I finallt bought one -- by mail 
order.  Much to my surprise and delight, the thing came with a catalog 
full of other goodies, but what caught my eye immediately was the big 
pink penis-shaped dildo.  Needless to say, I ordered it, as well as a 9" 
white plastic model.
     It's just that it was particularly tough in the early days after my 
experience with the vibrators.  Robbie had only succeeded in enhancing my 
appetite for sex.  It was not long before I had actually determined that 
I was an irrepressible sexual being.  Furthermore, it seemed impossible 
to escape the mind set that came with that realization.  Oh, I don't 
believe I was ever really as much obsessed by sex as I was impressed by 
it.  I had just seemed to developed an appetite for the feelings that I 
had so recently discovered.  As to obsession, I left that to my feelings 
for the only guy in my life up to that time -- Robbie.  I wanted him to 
do "it" to me so badly that I would be extremely uncomfortable anytime 
he was around.  It's just that we were never alone.  He would look at me 
sometimes and smile and I took it as a promise that we shared special 
feelings that would one day be consummated in the ultimate sexual coupling.
     By Thanksgiving, I had finally given in to my blossoming urges and 
attempted several times to masturbate to climax with only my hand as a 
vehicle.  It turned out not to be an easy task.  Strange, but I've never 
really discussed that with any other girls.   wonder if they had the same 
difficulty.  The problem was one of time.   Usually I would be too sore 
to continue after fifteen or twenty minutes of trying to reach an orgasm.  
The first time I actually achieved one with my fingers, I was so exhausted 
that the pleasure was so fleeting that if I had never had an orgasm before, 
I might not even have recognized it.
     The breakthrough came one night as I was getting ready for bed.  I 
noticed a jar of vaseline in the medicine chest.  I had been using it to 
keep my lips moist at night because they were chapping so badly.  I hated 
the taste of it, but I hated the pain of chapped lips worse, not to mention 
how they looked at school.  While I was putting it on my lips, I remembered 
that the books I had found under the bed had mentioned lubrication to avoid 
irritation. I rubbed the greasy stuff between two fingers and smiled at 
myself in the mirror.
     "Lubrication to avoid irritation."  It rhymed.  "Lubrication to avoid 
irritation," I said over and over as I walked quickly to my room, vaseline 
jar in hands.  "Lubrication to avoid irritation."  I was actually putting 
the words to a tune.  
     I shut my door and crawled into bed.  The jar, I slipped under the 
covers with me.  Unscrewing the lid, I quickly dipped two fingers into 
the goop and pulled out a gob of petroleum jelly big enough to grease a 
tank.  The only problem was how I would get it to the target through my 
baby doll pajama bottoms.  With the vaseline on my right fingertips, I 
stood up and used my left hand to work my bottoms all the way off.  I 
picked them up and pushed them under my pillow.  I knew it wouldn't do 
for Mom to walk in and see them on the floor.
     Jumping back in bed and getting under the covers, I pulled my knees 
up and made a tent over my lower body as my legs spread apart.  I placed 
the vaseline over my pussy and pushed inward with my fingertips.  All the 
lubrication made it too easy as my middle and ring fingers sank all the 
way in.  Immediately I knew that I had used too much of the jelly.  Unable 
to reach the box of Kleenex on my dresser, I had to get out of bed and 
walk with my legs spread apart to keep from smearing it all over my legs.  
Returning to my bed, I almost lost my footing as my bare foot found a large 
blob of vaseline that had refused to make the trip.
     As I started to try to wipe it off the hardwood floor rug, a voice 
just ouside my bedroom door sounded, "Cindy?  Are you in bed yet?"  Diving 
for the bed, I barely it under the covers, bare-assed and holding a jar of 
vaseline and box of kleenex, as the door opened.  Mom walked in without 
turning on the light and walked over to my bed and sat down beside me.  
She just barely missed putting her foot in the vaseline on the floor.  
I squeezed my eyes shut until I was certain she had not found it.  I have 
no idea of what I would have told her.  As she sat there, she pulled the 
blanket and sheet up under my chin and literally "tucked me in," something 
she hadn't done in a while.
     "Who's Danny," she asked.  There was a conspiratorial tone in her voice.
     I had to think for a minute, "Danny Parker?" I asked.
     "Yes, that was his name.  Who is he, a boyfriend?"  I could hear the 
smile in her voice.
     "Ah, Mom, I don't have a boyfriend." I said.
     "What about Robbie?  Don't think I haven't seen the way you two look 
at each other."
     I was glad she souldn't see the color in my cheeks.  "Robbie's just 
a good friend,"  I pictured his head between my legs.  My voice was hollow 
as I continued, "Why did you ask about Danny."
     Mom sighed, "I supposed I flubbed it.  He called before you came home 
this afternoon and wanted you to call him.  I forgot all about it until 
just now.  It's 10:00.  Do you want to try to call him now?"
     When she started to draw the covers down, I almost snatched them from 
her hands in order to get them up to my neck, "I-it's probably too late.  
I better see him at school tomorrow.  Besides, I'm too tired."
     "Well, O.K., young lady.  If you're sure."
     I wasn't sure.  I had no idea what Danny Parker would want to talk to 
me about, and now I would have to go to sleep wondering.  I could feel the 
vaseline as it had warmed up in my crotch and was beginning to run just a 
little.
     Mom was walking out of the room as she turned and said, "Good night, 
honey."
     "g'nite, Mom."
     I knew I couldn't wait.  Grabbing a handful of the tissues, I wiped 
away the vaseline as well as I could.  On my knees on the floor, I tried 
to remove all that was there.  I got most of it with the kleenex, but the 
spot was still very slick with the residue.  Retrieving my pajama bottoms 
from under my pillow, I pulled them on and walked out of room to the 
telephone table in the hallway.  As I sat down, my mother leaned out of 
the kitchen and looked down the hallway at me.  Before she could say 
anything, I explained, "Changed my mind.  Did he leave a number?"
     "It's on the pad."  She chuckled and sang, "Cindy's got a boyfriend, 
Cindy's got a boyfriend."  Mom had begun to act a little strange especially 
when the subject of boys and me would come it.  I didn't understand back
then, but now I suspect that she was wondering if I had other preferences.  
If it's true that she felt that way, I would have been offended at her for 
doing so.  Now, I just think it's funny.
     "Mom," I snapped, "I do not have a boyfriend."
     She just laughed.  I remember being surprised in a very puzzled sense 
that she actually seemed pleased that a guy had called.  Surprising also 
was that she had been "noticing" anything at all about Robbie and me.  
I thought we had been playing it "close to the vest" as my Dad always said.
     "Hello."
     "Mrs. Parker, is Robbie...I mean, is Danny there?"  
     "Yes he is.  Is this Cindy?"  she asked.
     "Yes, mam.  My mother said he wanted me to call him."
     "He told me you would probably call.  Just a minute, I'll go out and 
get him."
     "Go out?" I thought, "At 10:30 at night."
     "Cindy?"  Danny was panting.  "Just a sec while I catch my breath."
     Silence.
     "Danny?"  I queried.  Still only silence.
     "O.K., I'm back.  I had to climb the tree out back to get the cat 
down. That stupid feline gets stuck up there at least twice a week.  I 
think she does it on purpose," he laughed.
     Danny was one of the co-captains of the high school football team but 
I had no idea why he would be calling me, a ninth-grader.  We didn't even 
go to the same school.  I was still stuck over at the middle school.  All 
the other schools out in the county districts sent their ninth graders to 
high school. Still, we were considered freshmen at the high school.  It 
was really inconvenient and confusing.  The one advantage was that the 
ninth graders were the "seniors" of the middle school and had an easier 
time making the transition to sophomore.  Easier, in that hazing sophomores 
wasn't as much fun as hazing freshmen.
     Danny continued, "The reason I asked for you to call me back was so 
I could ask you if you'd like to go to the Christmas Dance with me next 
month if you don't already have a date."
     I was stunned.
     "Cindy?  You still there?"
     "Yeah," my mouth hanging open, "I mean yes, I'm still here."
     He paused.  "Well, how about it?  Would you go with me."
     "Y-yes.  I-I'd love to," I stumbled, not knowing how to react.  
Reaching way down inside myself I picked a little reserve bravery, "Yes, 
that would be just fine."
     "Great.  I'll call you again and we'll get all the details worked 
out, o.k.?"
     "Sure," I said brightly, "just call anytime."
     "O.K.," he affirmed, "Bye now."
     "Bye," then quickly, "see ya."  But I don't think he heard it because 
the phone clicked as I had barely finished.
     I was in a daze.  The only boys I had dated had been either my same 
age or even a little younger.  Most of them were goofs who just bunched 
up with other boys at whatever event we were attending while all the girls 
got together to talk about the goofs we were with.  Wow!  At last I had 
a real, honest to goodness date.  And then it hit me, "...if Mom and Dad 
will let me...Oh, god, please let them say yes."
     "Well, what did Larry have to say," Mom asked as she walked down the 
hallway sipping a cup of cocoa.  Her smile was just too knowing.
     I swallowed.  "He wants me to go with him to the Christmas dance 
next month.  May I, Mom,...please."
     "What did you tell him?" Her expression became somewhat stern.
     "I told him yes," I said, waiting for the axe to fall.  "Mom, ... please?"
     "Well, young lady," I hope you have something decent to wear to a 
bash like that.
     I squealed with delight, "Oh, Mom.  Thanks.  Thank you," I grabbed 
her and hugged her around the waist, "I love you."
     She was laughing now, "I told Larry that you would probably say yes.  
I appreciate a young man who respects a girl enough to ask her parents 
their permission for him to ask her out."  She put an arm around me and 
started walking me to my bedroom.  
     I thought, "Oh no, the vaseline and the Kleenex on my bed."
     "Mom, I'm too excited to go to bed right now.  Could I have a cup of 
cocoa with you?"
     She glanced at her watch.  "It's awfully late.  Tell you what.  You 
get in bed and I'll bring a cup to you."  Wheeeww.
     By the time she brought it, I had abolished all the incriminating 
evidence.  "Mom," I said, "I don't need a new dress or anything.  I can 
wear the one that I wore to that last dance."
     Setting the cup and saucer on my nightstand, she turned and patted 
my shoulder, "You won't have to.  Remember that other dress we looked 
at...the strapless one?"  I nodded open mouthed.  "I was at the boutique 
a couple of weeks ago and they had one like it, only just a little more 
conservative and much more appropriate for the season.  So I went ahead 
bought it for you.  I had intended for you to wear it to our annual bazaar 
and was keeping it as a surprise.  But I think you can have it for the
Christmas Dance.  Besides, I think you have enough up front to give a 
strapless gown  a little more to hold on to now."
     I squealed again, jumping up on my knees on the mattress and hugging 
her again.  "You're the best Mom in the whole world."
     "I know," she smiled as she walked to the door.  Turning as she was 
closing the door, "Go to sleep."  And she was gone.  Mom was a real jewel.  
She belonged to the ladies group at the Junior Jaycees.  They had a big 
charity bazaar and dance every year in early December.  For the past 
couple of years I had been involved with helping out in the booths.  
This would be my first year for the dance.  No one had called to invite 
me to that one yet.  I had been trying to get up enough nerve to ask 
Robbie, but had not been able to overcome my reluctance to "chase" him. 
     I fell back onto my pillow, bouncing on the mattress.  I was 
ecstatic.  Me, a lowly freshman going out on a date with the co-captain 
of the "almost- state-champs" football team.  Sue, Robbie's sister and 
also my best friend, would be positively green. I tried to picture Larry 
in my mind as I lay looking at the ceiling.  It was difficult getting a 
picture with the light on. I raised up on one elbow to turn off the lamp 
on my nightstand.  Althought the cocoa had been a ruse, I took a couple 
of quik gulps and turned off the light.     In the darkness the picture 
of Larry Parker began to form in my mind.  I just lay there and looked 
at him.  When his imaginary form bent to kiss me, I closed my eyes and 
let my lips touch the air.  Since it was all imaginary, I let him begin 
to nibble at my neck and lick my ear.  My hand was his as he reached for 
my breast and began to stroke it through my pajama top.  Then I led his 
phantom fingers travel up under the garment so he could twist and pull at 
my still immature nipples until they stood as proudly as they could.
     When I led his hand under the waistband of my bottoms, the residual 
vaseline was assurance that there was no obstacle to the progress of what 
I imagined.  His/my fingers entered the slick opening effortlessly even 
though I was still very tight.  As my imaginary lover was now lying naked 
over my body, positioning himself over me, between my legs.  As if outside 
my own body, I watched as he made that move under the sheet just like in 
the VCR movie.  My two fingers sank their full length into my ... my ... 
"love nest."  
     As my hand pumped his knuckled penis in and out of my pussy, I began 
to lift my hips to meet each thrust.  Although I had my fingers there in 
proxy, the picture I was imagining showed my arms wrapping around his 
broad shoulders as I kissed him.  I never knew Larry's shoulders were 
that broad.  My tongue came out from between my lips and the open air 
around me was his mouth that I entered with it.  I moaned as the pumping 
in and out became more intense.  I knew that I was going to make it this 
time.  "Why Larry, you're doing a really great job," my imaginary voice 
said.
     Then the picture changed unexpectedly.  Thorough my closed eyelids, 
Larry was no longer there.  In his place was an amazingly real picture of 
Robbie as he writhed over my body.  I opened my thighs even wider to 
accomodate him as my fingers began to pull and roll my clitoris.  He 
thrust again and my fingers went fully into my opening.  He pulled back 
and the amazing tool pinched and pulled at my clitoris, and then stayed 
there and rubbed and rolled it more and more, until a vocalized groan 
left my lungs.  The heat that signaled my release shot through me.
     Wanting to feel my orgasm completely, I kept a thumb and forefinger 
on my clitoris and sent my middle finger from my other hand into my 
pulsating opening.  It felt as if a ring or band of muscles were gripping 
and releasing my finger.  This was the first time I had had a finger 
fully imbedded during an orgasm.  I had not known it was like that.  I 
let myself be released in a depth of sweetness and my imaginary Robbie 
finally lay still.  I withdrew my fingers and let them move over the mounds 
of my breasts for several minutes, until sleep claimed me in the midst of 
my exhaustion.
     The buzzing alarm brought me instantly awake.  I lay on my side, my 
pajama top pushed up over my breasts.  I reached for the snooze button, 
but the five minute reprieve it allowed was not needed.  I felt absolutely 
alive.  It wasn't ever going to be the same after what happened last night.  
Not only had I reached a full blown orgasm all by myself, I had a 
date...a real date.
     It's a good thing that mastubation can't really make you blind as in 
the old folks' warnings.  I indulged myself quit often after that.  
Sometimes it was Larry and sometimes Robbie.  Robbie was always better.  
I supposed that it was because that we had really done some things together 
and Larry and I had never even held hands.
     After I told Sue about my date though, I noticed a change in Robbie.  
Although we were still friendly enough, there was a distance between us.  
When we weren't talking, he seemed somewhat distracted.  And sometimes 
I would catch him just staring at me.  He would look away as soon as my 
eyes would meet his, but there seemed to be an interminable sadness behind 
his gaze.  It really bothered me.  It had been about five weeks since 
that weekend, and If Robbie had approached me anytime since then and made 
any advance at all, I would have dropped my pants and spread my legs for 
him then and there.
     But he didn't approach me, and for some reason, I felt it was his 
place to make the first move.  But as time wore on, and the bazaar was 
only two weeks away, I became more and more concerned until I was 
miserable.  Robbie didn't know it, but I had been making love to him 
almost every night.  I wondered if he had the same thoughts about me.  
After all, he had said that I was his girl.
     Fianally, I was so upset and worried by the way he had been acting 
that I decided that it would have to be me that took the initiative.  
His family had come over for dinner on evening in late November.  The old 
folks were gathered in our rec room playing canasta.  Robbie, Sue and I 
were watching Television when Sue excused herself to go to the restroom.  
I had finally decided to ask him to the bazaar dance.
     "Robbie?" I said, causing his head to turn toward me.  Before I could 
mention the bazaar, I saw something in his eyes that approximated pain.  
Intead I asked, "Robbie, is something wrong?"
     I could tell he was not being honest with me when he said that nothing 
was wrong as far as he was concerned.  He asked, "Why do you ask?"
     "I just thought that we were sort of...well, you know, after that day 
here at the house."  I was extremely uncomfortable with the conversation, 
but I added softly, "You said I was your girl.  It's just that you haven't 
acted much like it."
      Without a moment's hesitation Robbie shot back, "Is that why you're 
going to the Christmas dance with Larry Parker?...Because you're MY girl?"  
His gaze was hard and hurtful.
     "It doesn't mean I'm Larry Parker's girl.  I-I didn't even think 
about that."  I was at a loss, and then, "I'll call him and tell him I 
can't go.  I'll go with you."
     His eyes burned right through me as he said flatly, "I'm going with 
Diane."  With that he got up and walked from the room.  "Mom...Dad, I've 
got some things to do at home.  Thanks for the great dinner Mrs. Marshall."
     "You're welcome, Robbie.  Come back anytime," my mother called out 
after him as he was up the stairs and gone.  I heard the front door shut, 
or should I say slam?  No one else in the rec room seemed to notice.
     It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears.  I clenched 
my teeth and just stared at the TV.
     "Where's Robbie?" Sue asked as she came back into the room.
     "He went home," I said without expression.
     I was glad when they finally left.  In my room alone that night, I 
tried to make love to my conjured image of Larry, but eventually gave in 
to a sweet episode with Robbie that ended in an orgasm which faded into a 
picture of his face buried in Diane Contento's blond pussy.  I the midst
of my misery, I turned her pubic hair to a mousy brown to match the color 
in the roots of her bleached hair.  Not in the least consoled, I wept 
uncontrollably until I fell asleep.  
     The day before the big Christmas dance, I came down with the flu and 
had to cancel.  Robbie and Diane had a great time I was told and she was 
wearing his classring when classes resumed after New Years.  I never heard 
from Larry Parker again.  Although I was terribly hurt, I still fantasized 
about Robbie for a while, but soon I found out that my mind did better 
to dwell on other things.  My secret sex life slowed down and I turned 
my energies to my acedemic pursuits.
     Robbie and I avoided each other.  We lived as if the other was 
neither friend nor enemy.  To one another we had become "non-persons."  
I finally let him go the night I watched him from my bedroom window as 
he was dressed in a white tuxedo, leaving to go to the Senior Prom.  
Everyone who was counting said that was the night that Robbie made Diane 
Contento pregnant.
     If I ever loved anyone, I loved Robbie.  I would have done anything 
to please him.  I thought I would never get over him.  Sitting alone in 
my room, looking out the window across the darkened lawn, I vowed a vow 
of celibacy.  My vow was rendered void by his subsequent marriage to 
Diane.  I mean, how miserable is a person supposed to be?  God, how I 
loved him.
     I suppose it was in my sophomore year that I decided that I wanted 
to remain a virgin in the sense that I had not yet had, nor wished to 
have sexual intercourse with a male of the species.  In other words, I 
made up my mind that I was not going to get laid.  But as Spock so plainly 
stated it to Lt. Savic, "For everything, there is a first time."
     When I think about my "first time," my emotions almost get away from 
me. The hurt and anger have subsided over the intervening years, but I 
still seek to cope fully with it.  His name was Jeff, and I really had a 
thing for him.  In retrospect, I suppose a lot of negative feelings that 
I have yet to conquer is directed at myself.
     Anyway. the resolve regarding "virginity" was swallowed up in the 
name of "love."  My naivite was such that I still find it unbelievable to 
this day.  When I think of how stupid I was to fall for it, I feel betrayed, 
embarrassed and cheated, not only by him, but by my own lack of self-control.
     Not that I thought myself innocent, but rather, I had redeemed my 
inner "good girl" values.  Sexual intercourse was reserved for marriage.  
There were no exceptions.   
     I began dating fairly regulaly after the end of my freshman year.  
I was pleasantly surprised at my new found popularity with the opposite 
sex.  Frankly, I dated any well-mannered decent sort who asked me out.  
I had no prejudices about how a guy was supposed to look.  So I had my 
share of short, tall, skinny, fat and so forth.  Of course, Mom and Dad 
had to deliver a stamp of approval.  Sometimes my mother would look at 
me questioningly when she saw a one she felt was particularly unattractive.
I just told her that I hadn't wanted to hurt the guys feelings by turning 
him down.
     An evening out for me typically began when the guy I was going out 
with would come to my home to pick me up.  They had to wait in the living 
room for me while my father gave them the eye.  After the guy was properly 
impressed we'd go to a movie, party, or whatever.  Then he'd drop me off 
at my front door.  Sometimes there would be a goodnight kiss.  I must 
admit that sometimes I did become a little prejudiced about kissing the 
ones my Mom held in question as to their looks.  That was the summer I 
turned 15.
     As my sophomore year of high school got underway, I was elected to 
the Student Council and was selected as a varsity cheerleader.  I dated 
quite often, mostly on weekends until the near the end of the school year.
I never gave away more than a prim and proper kiss.  By Spring, however, 
I had become a little more selective about my dates.  I had sworn off 
geeks for good, and found that I seemed to enjoy it more when the other 
girls were interested in who I was seeing.
     Then, along came Kevin.  Kevin was a year ahead of me and was 
co-captain and a forward on our high school basketball team.  Our first 
date was to his Junior Prom.  By the time he got me home that night, I 
was madly in love.  We didn't have any formal agreement or anything, just 
an unspoken understanding that we were now an official item.  I stopped 
dating anyone else, he did the same, and "that was that" as they say.
     The guys I dated before Kevin would occasionally get a little too 
bold  and sometimes try to cop a little feel, but when the hands began 
to rove, I brought it to a screeching halt just by very firmly telling 
them to stop.  Kevin and I dated a lot, but didn't get so far along the 
heavy breathing routine that we couldn't pull in the reins.  Sometimes 
he would stay a while when he brought me home and we would sit in the 
living room and play a little smacky-mouth and smash-face in the dim 
light.  My dad and mom were usually upstairs in bed.
     We had been dating a year when Kevin took the initiative to place a 
hand over one of my breasts.  I was wearing a very bulky ski sweater.  It 
was the middle of March, but still pretty cold for our part of the country.  
We didn't have outdoor skating because it was never really cold enough 
except maybe the middle of February.  But on that particular night, he 
had just brought me home from an indoor rink at the mall.
     As we sat close to each other on the couch in the rec room, I could 
hardly believe it when I felt his palm press at me through the material.  
I had to look down to make sure it was what I thought it was.  All I did 
was slide my hand between his hand and mine, and he made a strategic 
withdrawal.  For the next month or so, our necking began to get somewhat 
more frenzied and the petting a little bolder.
     Is wasn't too long before I permitted him extra liberties that I 
thought I could control.  I began letting his hand slide up under whatever 
top I was wearing to cup my bra covered breast.  The unwritten, unspoken 
rule was "no petting below the waist."  After a few of these above-the-waist 
sessions, I coutiosly allowed him an additional liberty.  He found that 
I would permit the bra to be unhooked so he could feel the natural me.  
During all this, we would kiss until our faces were wet with perspiration 
and saliva, and just about to fall off.
     In mid-May, on the night of the Senior prom, we were invited to a 
mid-night breakfast party thrown for the basketball team at their coach's 
home.  The coach was a real nice guy and had gone all out to do something 
nice for his graduating seniors.  We played pool, had some omelets, bacon, 
hotcakes and lots of other goodies.  Then we danced some more until 
everyone was just sitting around at 2:30 a.m. staring at each other.  
But after midnight there is only so much partying you can do, so we got 
together with Woody and Beth and headed for the bowling lane.  A big sign 
on the front door said, "CLOSED FOR THE PROM!"  The owner had had some 
trouble from some kids at another school on their Prom night, so we 
supposed he just decided he had had it. Normally, it was open 24hours a 
day except from Midnight Saturday until early morning league time on 
Monday.  So instead of going bowling, and since our parents were not 
expecting us until about dawn, we just sat there in the car for a while 
and talked.  Soon Beth and Woody were no longer in the conversation and 
the souds of their kisses and breathing began to dominate.
     Kevin and I looked at each other.  He shrugged his shoulders and I 
did the same.  He pulled me closer to him and we played, "if you can't 
beat'em, join'em."  I'll have to say that Kevin was the best kisser I had 
ever known, not that I had known that many, but I was impressed.  Mom had 
been extra generous when she brought out her mink wrap for me to wear 
before Kevin picked me up.  So, I unclipped the chain that secured it and 
smoothed it over the back of the seat beside me.  When I turned toward 
Kevin, he just absorbed me into the circle of his arms.
     I let my head lean on his shoulder and he bent his neck so that his 
lips could cover mine.  When I finally came up for breath, he let his lips 
latch onto my left earlobe.  That gave him a mouthful of Mom's diamond 
cluster ear rings.  Neither Mom nor I had ever had our ears pierced, so 
these were actually the clip-on type.  Kevin pulled at the piece of 
Jewelry until he had it in his mouth.  He spit it into his hand and we 
both laughed.  I stopped laughing when his tongue went into my ear canal 
and licked wetly and noisily there.  With his left hand came up to remove 
the one from my right ear, I dropped my hands to receive both earrings in 
my hands.
     I turned toward him to reach for his coat pocket as his lips met mine 
again.  My right hand was placing the earrings into his pocket when his 
left hand cupped my right breast.  But Kevin was not going to be satisfied 
with feeling my gown.  Especially when he had had the liberty of feeling 
them "in the flesh" so to speak.  As I mentioned earlier, the gown was 
strapless.  I was wearing no bra since the dress itself had a built-in 
underwire bra.  All he could manage at first was to work his fingers into 
the top and tickle my nipples.  All the while, I had my right hand in his 
coat pocket and my left hand was sort of pinned between us.
     Kevin tried to fold the front of the gown downward, but the underwiring 
and the way it cinched my torso, made it impossible.  The gown zipped in 
the back just where a bra strap would be if I had one.  Kevin found it 
with his free hand and eased it down.  The zipper itself went past the 
waistline about eight inches down into the skirt portion.  I let him slide 
the zipper as far as my waist, but when he tried to go further, I leaned 
hard against his harm, pinning it to the back of the seat.  He got the 
message.
     With the zipper open, he was able to pull the top away and down.  
There was enough light from the tall lamps in the parking lot that Kevin 
was able to actually see my breasts for the first time.  Also he had never 
had such free access to my breasts.  This was the first time he had them 
totally uncovered.  I had never allowed him to remove any of my clothing 
or even unbutton a blouse.  He aways had to work his way there without 
the luxury of anything more than unhooking my bra under my top.  He never 
even mentioned taking anything off.
     On that night, however, with my breasts exposed in the dim light, 
his lips left mine and trailed down my neck to where my shoulder joins it, 
a maneuver he had duplicated many times.  But when he lifted his mouth 
from my neck, instead of going back up to my lips as he always had done 
before, he went down.  Holding one of my tits, he pulled at it and met 
it with his open  mouth.  I had not felt anything that sensual since 
Robbie had done the same thing.  Only it wasn't Robbie, it was Kevin who 
bowed his head to suckle on my tender and sensitive breast.
     Holding my right breast with his left hand, he let his head bob and 
twist as he paid homage to my left nipple.  Then, still squeezing with his 
left hand, he shifted his head to taste the other one.  It was as if he 
would squeeze the base of my boob and let it swell into his mouth.  Then 
he would take the tip of his tongue and drive my nipple deep into my flesh.
I squirmed and let my hands move over his neck and ran my fingers through 
his hair.  The only sound I was making was , "MMmmmmmmmmmmm..."  I would 
have been terribly embarrassed if Beth and  Woody had known what was going 
on.  All I could hear coming from the backseat was the smacking and slurping 
of a multitude of sloppy, wet kisses.
     As Kevin's mouth displaced his left hand, his left hand dropped to 
my lap and began to rub my right thigh through the dress stroking from 
my knee to just a few inches from hips.  The dress came to a point just 
above my knees when I was sitting.  For several strokes, his hand stayed 
on top of the material.  Then on one stroke downward to my knee, his hand 
went beyond  the material at the hem of the short dress.  As soon as I 
felt his palm on my nylon clad knee, I knew that things were about to 
become very different with Kevin.  The thought that dominated at that 
moment was that I was glad I wore pantyhose tonight.  I had considered 
ditching them when we were at the coach's house because it was so warm.
     Made brave by my pantyhose, I was not troubled in the least by his 
left hand on my right knee.  But when his hand began moving again, it was 
running up my thigh under my dress.  I didn't know how to react, so I 
didn't.  His hand just rubbed and stroked the thigh up and down, moving 
a little higher on about every third trip.  After a bit more of this 
progression, his hand ran out of a place to go, stopping dead at my 
abdominal wall.  The hand was touching the silky material of my pantyhose.
I had never allowed Kevin any liberty such as this before.
     I didn't want to call Beth and Woody's attention to this, so I just 
laid my head on his right shoulder, holding my breath.  His tongue stabbed 
between my lips and circled warily around my tongue.  I let my tongue 
accept his invitaion to dance.  His huge palm was gripping my upper thigh, 
his four fingers to the ouside and his thumb resting against the crotch of 
my pantyhose.  Kevin began to rub his finger up and down the covering over 
my pussy.  The pantyhose were very sheer, but the panty part had a cotton 
crotch.  Under the pantyhose, I wore my skimpiest bikini panties.  Even 
throught the layers of cloth, what he was doing felt so good, and it had 
been so long since I had been touched like that.  I let out a little, 
"Ahhhh," and let my thighs drift apart.
     Taking this as a sign of surrender, Kevin's hand forsook my thigh 
and moved to my waist.  His hand made a deft maneuver which sent his 
fingers to my hair-covered mound.  I reacted by squeezing my thighs tight 
to stop his progress, but the tips of his fingers were still able to stroke 
up and down.  I didn't take much of this to make me relax my legs and let 
them open again.  I decided that as long as he was just touching my hair, 
it was alright to let him continue.  My legs relaxed again.  Looking down, 
the sight appeared almost abscene.  My dress bunched between his forearm 
and my waist, his wrist strecting the waist of my pantyhose away from my 
body.
     Shamelessly, I whispered, "Let me..."  I reached up under my dress 
and hooked my pantyhode with my thumbs and began to pull them down.  As 
I did so, I looked over the back of the seat and saw Edith with stripped 
to the waist.  Her back was to me and her face was in Woody's lap.  He was 
obviously worrying one of her breasts with one hand and holding a handful 
of her hair with the other helping her to glide her mouth up and down on 
his cock.  I got my pantyhose off one leg and let them just hang around 
the other ankle.  Amazingly, the little bikini panties maintained their 
integrity and stayed in place.
     I put both arms around Kevin's neck and guided his mouth to my breasts 
again.  I moaned at the contact.  I heard Beth giggle and choke at the same 
time.  My intention was to allow Kevin to just touch me below the waist 
without going any further.  With my panties still in place, I felt I could 
control the speed and intensity of the moment.  With my thighs squeezed 
shut again, I allowed him to feel and stroke the crotch of my panties 
again.
     I knew I had made a mistake when I felt my labia divide and Kevin's 
finger pushed the material inside me until my gripping thighs would allow 
no further progress.  In spite of my slight resistance, he managed to work 
a finger under the elastic at the crotch of my panties pulling it to one 
side enough that his finger was trailing across my wet slit.  Placing on 
hand on his wrist, I moved his hand until his fingers were again only on 
the cloth that covered my pussy.  I put lips to his ear and whispered so 
very quietly, "Kevin, please don't.  We shouldn't."  I drew in a deep 
breath and let it out in a sigh, adding, "I love you."
     He pulled back his head and looked at me and said, "I love you too, 
Cindy."
     The knowledge that we couldn't "go all the way" right here in the 
front seat with Woody and Beth in the backseat, I opened my legs for the 
guy who "loved" me.  Kevin tried to get a hand to the waist of my panties, 
but I just whispered a firm, "No," at the same time, pressing my cloth 
covered crotch against his hand.  Honestly, I had no concept of a "prick 
tease."  But now I wonder that he didn't rape me right then and there.  
I just thought if I could stop, so could he.
     In any case, I could not fault him for his perseverance.  In just a 
little while, Kevin was again using a couple of fingers to pull the crotch 
of my panties undies out of his way again.  I finally felt and allowed him 
to probe at my opening with his finger.  He evidently did not know much 
about female anatomy because he was unable to find his way through my 
labia.  In his quest, however, he succeeded in stimulating my clitoris 
just enough to make me want to take a flash light, put his face under my 
dress and show him where the sensitive spot was.
     Well, I didn't have a flashlight, so I reached under my dress and 
found his fingers.  They were much too far to one side, so that all he 
was succeeding in doing was to press the lips of my pussy closer together.  
Wrapping my hand around two of his fingers, I moved his hand and guided him 
to the proper place.  All I had to do was place his fingers at the botom 
of my slit and lead them upward just once.  About halfway up, his fingers 
began to penetrate the silky wetness.  I let go of his hand and he let his 
two digits sink all the way in.
     When he just stayed there and sort of wiggled his fingers, I knew that 
this boy needed a trip under his parents bed to peruse any relevant reading 
material they may keep hidden.  In light of his apparent lack of knowhow, 
I decided to give him a lesson.  I had no idea of what a slut I looked like 
to Kevin as I put an hand around his wrist and whispered, "This way."  
I began to pull and push his wrist so that the two finger glided almost 
all the way out and then back in.  After a few strokes, he got the idea 
so I let go of his wrist.
     To give him better access, I raised my right foot and propped my high 
heel shod foot on the center hump of the floor.  That seemed to drive him 
crazy.  He leaned into me and I sort of fell back along the seat.  Pushing 
with my foot against the floor hump, I soon had my head wedged above the 
armrest on the door.  Keven never dropped a beat as he slid right along 
with me.  I could feel his hard-on through his pants as it pressed my 
thigh just above one knee.
     Kevin still had not found the spot that makes me tick, so I sent a 
hand down to help out again.  To my disappointment, he removed his fingers 
just as I got there.  In no way deterred from my goal, I let my fingers 
hook into my pussy and began to rub my clitoris.  Kevin leaned down to 
catch my tit in his mouth again and could feel his hand between us again.  
"Good,"  I thought, "back to work."
     It wasn't me he was reaching for, however.  Instead, he proceeded 
to unzip his pants and pull out his cock.  It came at me instantly, and 
would have gone right in the way I was laying open with one leg upraised 
against the back of the seat and the other on the floor, if he hadn't run 
into my hand.  In self-defense, I grabbed at his dick and held it away 
from me.
     "No, Kevin.  We can't."  I was desparate.  The last thing I wanted 
in the whole world was a baby before I finished high school."
     "Please, Cindy," Kevin pleaded.
     Actually, we both were speaking in some kind of exaggerted desparate 
whispers.
     "NO!" and added for emphasis, "And I mean it!"
     As my hand wrestled to prevent entry, Kevin moaned, and I felt a warm 
liquid splatter along my inner thigh.  Knowing what was happening, I began 
to pump up and down on him until he finished his spasms and let his weight 
collapse on my diminutive frame.  Remember, I was only 4'10" back then.  
Kevin was a 6'4" basketball player.  Our friends even called us Mutt and 
Jeff, after some long-ago comic strip characters.  
     There I was, not even close and my date had cum all over my legs.  
I closed my eyes and said a desparate prayer about Kevin "eating" me, but 
I knew it would never happen that night.  I think he actually fell asleep 
right there on top of me.
     "WHAP!!!  Get off me!" I heard Beth scream.  This brough both of us 
back to the present, scrambling to get our clothes back to normal.  When 
we looked in the back seat, there was Beth with her panties hanging off 
one ankle and Woody with the imprint of her hand was still lit on his 
reddened cheek.
     "Gosh, Beth, I'm sorry."
     Then both of them became aware of us staring at them.  We didn't know 
what it was all about, but we knew the date was over.  Kevin started up 
the car and we dropped Beth off.  She just jumped out and told Woody that 
she knew the way to the front door.  Next we let Woody out, then drove to 
my home in almost complete silence.  Kevin walked me to the door and I 
remembered that I was unzipped.  We both giggled as he pulled the zipper 
up for me.  I was almost 4:00a.m., so I didn't invite him in, but I tiptoed 
and he bent down for our goodnight kiss.
     I found out the next day what happened in the back seat.  Woody had 
brought a pack of rubbers along and wanted to make it with Beth.  She told 
Woody that he could go down on her and she on him, but that she didn't do 
the real thing yet.  But when her panties were down and his fly opened, he 
tried to do the "real thing" that she doesn't do yet.  I told her I was 
sorry because I knew she liked him a lot.  I didn't tell her I saw her 
giving Woody head.  She told me not to worry because he'd be back.  Before 
she hung up the phone she said, "See, he's at the front door now."
     I didn't hear from Kevin on either Saturday or Sunday.  On Monday he 
told me how much he liked me and how he didn't want to tie me down when 
he went away to Wake Forest.   He said he was afraid that I would feel 
trapped by our relationship.  I swallowed what he had to say, smiled 
brightly and agreed that he was just thinking of my interests in the whole 
matter.  He drove me home and I went upstairs to my bedroom, fell face 
down on my bed and cried my eyes out.  It dawned on me then that my overt 
promiscuity in the parking lot may have scared him off.  I immediately 
began making vows again.
     I was still in shock when Jeff, a teammate of Kevin's asked me out 
for the next weekend.  I turned him down with no explanation three weeks 
in a row. Then I finally agreed to go out with him.  He was the only guy 
who ever came back after I said no to a date.  The real reason I said yes 
was that I hoped  to make Kevin jealous.  So in reality, I was ready to 
be psyched, and although I don't like to admit it, that's exactly what 
happened.
     Jeff and I began seeing each other on a regular basis after school 
was out for the summer.  Normally we dated about two nights a week.  In 
July, Jeff called and invited me to go to the lake with him and two other 
couples from school.  Jeff drove his car and one couple rode in the back.  
The other couple who turned out to be Beth and Woody were in another car.
     We got an early start and were at the lake by 9:00A.M. We had planned 
to water ski, cook out, swim and just have a grand time.  When  we arrived at
the lake, we were pleased to see that almost all of the wooded man-made 
islands were vacant.  Usually, you have to have reservations well in 
advance but we had no trouble getting one for the rest of the day.  The 
park ranger just told us that if it got crowded around here, we would 
probably have company before the day was over.  Generally, Tuesday is a 
slow day at the lake.
     Each of the dozen or so islands was equipped with picnic tables and 
grills.  Some had covered pavillions, but the ranger wouldn't let a party 
of only six take a pavillion.  So we checked out a rental boat from the 
dock, loaded our picnic gear and went to the island to stake our claim.
     On the island, the guys opened the cooler and handed out the beer.  I
declined and opted for a coke.  This was the first time I had known of Jeff 
drinking any king of alcohol.  I suppose I was just a little disappointed.  
Kevin had been,like me, a tea-totaler.
     I tried to do some water skiing but my thigh had never forgiven me for 
its earlier insult, so I had to leave the skiing to the others.  Jeff said 
he didn't want to ski without me, so he joined me on the shore on a blanket.  
When the others brought the boat in Bobby and Deanna copied Jeff and me and 
laid out on a blanket.  Beth and Woody went to the other side of the island 
out of our sight.  
     We had not been concerned about the few clouds in the sky.  the weather 
report called for a bright sunny day.  Nevertheless, a small shower came 
up and we had no cover except trees.   Instead of running for the trees, 
Bobby and Deanna, the couple who rode with us, pulled the blanket over 
themselves.  I didn't object when Jeff did the same for us.  This gave us 
an area of blanket under us about the size of a twin bed, so we were 
pretty close.  I was inside the folded side, by the way.
     There we were all cuddled up against the rain and we could hear Deanna
giggling.  I said, "I wonder what they're doing?"
     "This," Jeff said and he rolled over and kissed me.  I had allowed 
him kisses on our previous dates, but nothing else.  There was no objection 
from me because I enjoyed it, and I returned his kiss.  When he rolled 
over, it pulled me tightly in the folded side of the blanket so that I was 
pressed really close to him.  I honestly couldn't tell if his forearm was 
sneaking a feel of my tits or not.  So I pretended he wasn't and let his 
arm stay between us.  I figured  that it was alright as long as there were 
no hands involved.
     Jeff was dressed in a loose-fitting bathing suit that came about half
way down his thighs, but I was wearing the skimpiest bikini that my mom had
ever allowed me to buy.  It tied at the sides of my hips and the top tied 
in back and also had a neckstrap.  By today's standards, it was conservative 
for  a bikini.  Still, it showed the tops of my 34B's and I had to keep 
pulling  at the bottoms to make sure my ass didn't hang out too much.  
The neckstrap hung down in front as was fashionable for the day.
     "Hey, what are you two doing over there?" Deanna called.
     I just giggled and Jeff said, "We'll never tell."
     "Bobby!  Give that back!" she squealed and giggled again.  I looked out
from under the blanket and saw Bobby's hand holding Deanna's bikini top
straight up in the air, and her hands were trying to grab it.  As I watched,
the struggle stopped.  The bikini top fell to the ground outside their 
blanket.  All I could see was their forms squirming under the blanket.  
It was then I realized he was removing her bottom also.  I had a flashback 
of those naked bodies under the sheet.  I knew that Bobby would be making 
that "move."
     This made me really uncomfortable and I know I blushed as I ducked 
under the blanket again.  Jeff was soon kissing me again, and I admit that 
I liked it.  I knew from the way things were progressing, that it was only 
a matter of time until one of his hands finally cupped one of my breasts, 
I reached to pull it away, but as my hand touched his, he whispered, "Just 
let me hold you for a minute."  So I let him.
     I rationalized, "He wasn't touching my skin, only my bikini.  After 
all, I had let Kevin do as much." 
     When his hand pushed up under my bikini top, I intended to stop him, 
but before I could say or do anything, I heard Deanna squeal and giggle 
again.  I couldn't help laughing, myself.  In that instant of inaction on 
my part, Jeff had succeeded in baring my right breast and was pecking it 
lightly with kissed.  My rationalization shrank to, "this is o.k., because 
I'm not going to let him 'go all the way.'  After all," I thought, "I had 
let Kevin feel and suck them."
     By that time, my chief consternation was the old familiar feeling 
down between my legs.  Squeezing my thighs tightly together, I tried to 
supress the feeling.  The thought of Kevin's hand between my thighs flashed 
in my mind.
     Jeff had me locked in his arms and my top was completely untied and 
laying across my belly.  His hands and mouth were setting me on fire.  I 
kept thinking, "I'm not going all the way."  I thought of Deanna, not 10 
yards away with Bobby.  I knew what they were doing, both of them naked 
under the blanket.  In my mind's eye, I could see the magic movement of 
entry and I was sure that if I peeded out just then, that I would see him 
on top of her, moving up and downunder the blanket.  The thought sent a 
wave of heat through my body.
     Suddenly, there was a loud clap of thunder and the rain really poured
down.  We could hear Deanna screaming and laughing and saying, "Let's run for
it."  Whatever modesty I still retained made me stay where I was.  As soon 
as they were gone, Jeff's hand was on my ass.
     I thought, "Since he's only touching my bathing suit, it's o.k."  
     With that thought not yet erased, his hand slipped easily under the 
soft material so that his hand was feeling and squeezing my bare bottom.  
I moved quickly to pull his hand away, but he was still ahead of me.  He 
took the offending hand off my buttock before I could make him do it.  
That's when I knew why he did not object to me wanting his hand moved.  
The side tie of my bikini bottom was open and his hand was on my belly 
between my navel and my pubic area.
     "Please don't, Jeff," I said in as pitiful a voice as I could muster.
     "I promise all I'm going to do is just touch you, Cin," he whispered,
letting his hand leave that area and begin stroking my thigh.  Jeff must have
rubbed ALL the unforbidden areas of my body after that.  He touched my 
hands, my face, my hair, my arms, but he did keep on kissing my lips and 
my breasts since that was territory already claimed.  Occasionally, he 
would suck very hard on a nipple, sending me soaring with the effect.
     I could feel his cock through his bathing suit and I could tell it 
was erect as he was rubbing it against my upper leg.  He was sort of 
laying half on and half off me.  When I became uncomfortable, I tried to 
shift and this caused one of his legs to sort of "innocently" drop between 
my thighs.  Jeff's bathing suit came almost to his knees but as he moved 
and squirmed against my pubic mound, he soon had worked the leg of his 
swimsuit up so that his bare thigh was pressing my crotch.
     Then came his hand just as I knew it would.  My thighs had been 
separated by his right leg, and the hand that rested on top of my thigh 
just seemingly slid to the vee made by my thighs.  Although he had never 
mentioned love, I think I wanted to assume it because it would make all 
this that was happening O.K.  To my surprise, and what I later realized 
to be a very sly maneuver on his part, his hand left my pubic area.  
Instead, it came to rest on the breast not occupied by his mouth. 
     The thigh that he had resting between my thighs began to press and 
move against my crotch.  As his leg bent, his knee pressed hard at my 
pubic bone.  It was like he was going to put his knee inside me.  What he 
did do was to furiously massage my pussy with his kneecap.  I had never 
heard any of my girlfriends talk about this, but it started to really turn 
me on.
     He did not seem about to stop and I could feel myself climbing to 
some peak way up there, closer now, but still out of reach.  All my 
protestations had melted.  The hands left my tits, but his lips continued 
to worry the little peaks. 
     Up to that time, in spite of passion, in spite of my feelings, in 
spite of what others were doing, I had no intention of going further than 
this very  heavy petting.  Furthermore, I almost resolved to stop everything 
in its tracks when he did what he did next.  I don't know how he managed 
so quickly and deftly, but the next thing I knew, the safety of his bathing 
suit between us was gone.  I was shocked into a near panic when I discerned 
that it was no longer his hairy thigh against me.  Instead it was his 
abundant pubic hair pressing against my right outer thigh trapping his 
manhood against my flesh.
     Gathering what little of that resolve I had left, I said, "Jeff, 
we better stop."
     He raised up a little and I could see his face looking down at me 
even under the blanket, "O.K.  I don't want to do anything you don't want 
to do."  Then he said, "God, Cin, you're beautiful."
     I couldn't believe that I had waited until now to actually blush.  
But he was looking down at my body, holding the blanket up so he could 
see me, an expression I could not name on his face.  I don't think I had 
ever felt more important or appreciated by anyone other than my family 
in my life.  This was the second time that any boy had seen me naked.
     "I just want to hold you for a minute," he said as he laid his head 
down on my breasts with one ear covering a nipple.  He slid his left arm 
under me and his right arm was draped over my waist.  I brought up one hand 
and began to rub his head.  The rain had stopped, but we were soaked inside 
the blanket. Our body heat causied a tepid warmth that was actually very 
pleasant. 
     As I rubbed his head, his right hand began to stroke my right side.  
I said, "Don't, that tickles."  He moved his hand from my side and down 
to my left leg.  He began rubbing it very lightly and I enjoyed the 
feeling.  His head twisted and he kissed the ear-warmed nipple and suckled 
it lightly.  I felt my emotions stir again.
     Holding my left leg with his right hand, Jeff rolled off me, onto his 
side, pulling me with him, and draping my left leg over his right leg.  
Then he was kissing my lips again, and I pressed my tongue into his mouth.  
My leg was lifted under the knee and his hand slid the length of my thigh 
to my pussy.  This time, his fingers began to pull and stroke the hair at 
the top of my mound.  It felt so good and it had been such a long time.  
The fingers began stroking along the line of my slit...up and down, over 
and over again.  As if he had turned the dials of a combination lock, the 
labia opened for him.   Jeff's fingers were suddenly inside me and I 
still could have stopped it right there.  No one but Robbie had ever 
touched me like this and, frankly, I was becoming frightened.  Jeff pulled 
out his finger and inserted his thumb in the still open gash.  This 
inverted digit was pressing its second knuckle against my clitoris and I 
melted.  It was the way Robbie had done me when I was 14.
     He pushed and pulled in and out of me with his thumb for a couple of 
dozen strokes, but I really wasn't counting.  Then he rolls over so that 
he is on top of me between my legs.  Knowing that Jeff is finally about 
to do that thing that I so desparately wanted Robbie to do, I want to say 
no.  It's not as if there is any question about it.  I know deep inside 
that all I have to do is say no and he will stop.  Otherwise, it would be 
rape, and I knew that Jeff would never rape me.  
     Well it wasn't rape because I had no will to resist in any way.  I 
did not know what to do with my hands, so I put my arms around his neck 
and pressed my naked up against his.  I will probably never know how much 
encouragement he felt from that one move.
     His thumb moved in a circle a few times and then pulled out of me.  
He put his hand on his dick and placed it at where he thought my opening 
should be.  He jutted forward and it bounced off perineum.  At least he 
had found my pussy with his fingers.  Even Kevin couldn't do that.  Jeff 
reached between us to find my pussy again, and guided himself to the 
opening, but just wasn't able find a way in.
     Acting as if I knew what I were doing, and pretending it was a 
penis shaped dildo I put one hand down there to assist.  When It was 
aligned, he slid ever so gently into me.  His cock was not real large, 
not even as big as Robbie's, but it was a beautiful sensation of being 
stretched.   At last, my first real cock in my pussy.  The falsley 
manufactured perception of the precious virginity I had been saving was 
taken away forever.
     Jeff was holding himself very still, not moving at all, his hard cock 
buried inside me.  I felt a drop of water running into my ass crack, when 
I suddenly realized it wasn't water after all.  It was his semen.  I 
realized that he must have come immediately upon entering me.  I didn't 
understand what was going on.  I remember wondering if this is all there 
really is to it.
     I shouldn't have been concerned.  Jeff was young and very virile.  
I squinted my eyes and succeeded in squeezing his cock lightly within my 
vagina. I don't know if he took it as a cue or a request, but his response 
was to begin a slow exit from my cunt.  Before he could push it back in, I 
reached between us and wrapped my hand around the shaft.  I could tell that 
the head of it was just below my little finger.  My hand fit easily all 
around it.  I was so surprised at how small it was compared to the dildo 
or even to Robbie.  I was even more surprised at how well it still filled 
and stretched my cunt.
     All of a sudden, it dawned on me.  I had felt his seminal fluid running 
out of me.  I recalled, "safe."  Fear and realization shot through me as I 
looked up at Jeff and asked "Did you use anything?"  I pulled him completely 
out of me.
     "What?"
     "I don't want to get pregnant.  Did you use anything."
     "No.  You mean you're not on the pill?"
     "Jeff," I said trying to make my fear sound like exasperation, "Why 
would I be on the pill?  I don't make this a common practice.  This is my 
first time."
     He looked surprised, "No shit?  Damn.. Uh, I didn't know."  The 
surprise turned to concern, "Did I hurt you?  Are you bleeding or anything?"
     I broke down and began to cry in earnest now.  "Yes it hurt."  I 
don't know why I lied.  I rolled over and turned my back to him.
     "God, Cin, I'm sorry."
     "I'll be O.K.," I sobbed.  Shutting him out of my mind, I began to 
count. By the time I did some rapid calculating, I knew then that I probably 
had nothing to worry about this time.  My period was due to start either 
tomorrow or Thursday.  The rhythm method sure worked for mom.  Whether I 
was lying to myself or not, I didn't care right then.  I just needed to feel 
better about it.  With resolve, I promised to never let something this stupid 
happen again.     Satisfied that all was o.k., I let him start petting me 
and rubbing my back.  My rationalzation was that since he had already cum 
in me, that it wouldn't matter if we did it again.  In just a few minutes 
he was laboring over my breasts again, a finger probing deeply into my 
cum-filled box.  I had any resolve at all left over from Robbie or Kevin, 
I just let it melt into counting days just to be sure, and then with hands 
on each side of his face, I pulled his face to me until we could kiss.  
     My knees were raised along his sides, making my body a perfect cradle 
for his as it lay on mine.  The head of his wet cock, now hard as ever, was 
trapped between our bellies.  This time as he slide his body downward to 
find my opening, he probed, once...twice...and then sank easily into my 
cum- drenched pussy.  Jeff just lay there for a few minutes not even moving 
his lower body.  He just kept kissing my face, my eyes, my neck, my 
lips and his hands burned trails over my torso and legs.
     I'm sure it was I who finally made the first move.  I raised my feet 
and hooked them behind his muscular thighs and levered myself up against 
him.  I don't know how I knew to do that.  It just seemed to come naturally.
This movement drove him even deeper, making him moan with the pleasure.  
Then I alternately clenched and unclenched my exercise-strong cheerleader's 
thighs around him until I felt him make his first movement of withdrawal.
     I had never had orgasm with a penis in my vagina.  My only releases 
had been with a vibrator, a dildo, Robbie's fingers and mouth, and my own 
hand.    Then Jeff was moving a little more.  He began taking longer 
strokes, in and out of me, but the juices inside kept the friction to a 
minimum and I was not building to a peak like I knew I should.  Then he 
surprised me by what he said.
     "Oh, fuck, Cin...fuck!...Yes, you're so good....Hmmmmm...so good," 
he began as he continued the insertion and withdrawal.  "Oh sweet, Cin... 
your pussy is so tight and sweet....unhgh.. Ahhh.. Yes Cin."  And he just 
went on and on with stuff like that.  The words were not very coherent, 
but he uttered them just the same.
     In any case, these utterances were a real turn-on.  I decided that 
if I wanted to get more out of this, I'd have to do my part.  So I began 
to answer his thrusts with bumps and grinds of my belly against his.  He 
held himself off me by one outstretched arm and carressed me wherever he 
could reach with his other hand.      
     Letting my hand slide flat on my stomach down past my navel and into 
the area where we were joined, my thumb and forefinger circled his cock.  
I was delighted at my discovery.  I could feel my pussy lips climbing 
follow his cock outward, clinging to his shaft as he withdrew, only to be 
pressed back in as he pushed forward.  It was just like it had been with 
my old artificial friend.
     Releasing him, I let my hand lay flat on my lower belly with fingers 
pointed at the juncture of our bodies.  Edging the fingertips forward, I 
was able to use a fingertip to poke and prod my clitoris.  This was just 
the impetus I had needed.  Jeff caught on to what I was trying to do.  
He stopped thrusting and somehow with his hands cupped under my buttocks, 
he pulled his knees under him.  I was careful not to let the blanket 
covering us fall away.  This new position made me feel like there was a 
pry bar anchored in the bottom of my cunt pulling up on my clitoris.  
There was sufficient light flooding the space inder the blanket to allow 
Jeff to look down and see his cock in me.
     He lifted my ass with his hands again.  Leaning back on his heels, 
he pulled my hips until my bottom rested on his lap, allowing him deeper 
access, but relieving the "pry bar" pressure.  Next he put his thumb into 
the space between his entry way and my love button.  When the thumb started 
in, the additional stretching hurt a little, but I only moaned slightly.  
This maneuver left his fingers free to scratch my navel and belly.  I 
thought he was going to rub the clitoris with the thumb, but instead he 
very slowly pushed his thumb as far as it would go into my cunt along the 
top of his penis.  
     With his thumb fully imbedded along the top ridge of his cock, Jeff 
began to lift his hand upward and away from his body hard so the inside of 
his thumb was pressed firmly against the apex of my opening.  He began to 
glide the thumb back out and then in again.  That did it.  I could hear 
the blood begin to rush in my ears as my long-awaited orgasm hit me.  It 
came on like a flood and I could feel my whole body giving way before it.  
All the times with my own hand...all the vibrators, even Robbie could never 
match what that act he had done to me.
     Before my throes of orgasm had passed, Jeff withdrew his thumb and 
began to pump me with his wonderful tool.  His hands were on my hips, but 
he let that magical thumb tip make its print on my clitoris.  He didn't 
know that it was hurting me, but I was so grateful that I began bucking 
with him, trying to help out in the very awkward position.
     Jeff stopped the pumping for just a moment, stretched out his legs 
again and was fucking me again.  And it went on and on.  The next orgasm 
was unexpected and as he pounded me, I was chanting my response in time 
to his movement, "Unnh..uh..ahh..ungh..ohh..y-ess...uh...uh...ohhhhh...God... 
Hmmmm.. Mmmyph... Jeff... Ungh..aaaahahhha..  hoooo,,, eEeeeaaaaiaii... 
I-I..mmmmm.. ohgod...ohgod...hungh..," and then I felt it take me and I 
let out my release in a low guttural moan reminiscent of a rutting beast, 
"UuuuummmmnnnnnnHHhaa-Aaaaiiiiiieeeeeeee.mmmmmmmmmmmmggngngn."
     Jeff still had not cum again.  I was amazed at how long he could go 
because of the way he went so fast earlier.  As he continued to pump in 
and out of my pussy, I knew what I wanted to do.  I twisted my hips and 
pulled away so that his rod plopped  out of me.  His first look of 
puzzlement and disappointment had not fully set when I said, "Lie down 
here on your back."  I patted the blanket beside me.  
     I was remembering how upset I was after Robbie took advantage of my 
ignorance about such things.  As Jeff lay back, I rolled over so my head 
was in his lap.  When he realized what was about to happen to him, He just 
said, "Oohhhh, myyyy, Goddd."  Then, "Ungaaahh," as my mouth literally 
sucked him into itself.  It was true that he was not nearly the size of 
Robbie, but that just made my job easier.  
     I licked all around his member until all our mingled juices were 
washed away.  Then I let his entire four inched slip through my lips until 
my nose was buried in his pubic hair.  I had not been able to do this with 
Robbie.  Then I backed off until I locked my lips around the collar of the 
head.  I wrapped one hand around the remainder between my mouth and his 
belly.  He took my wrist and pumped my fist along the length of his cock.  
I sucked firmly on the cap of his cock.  I removed my mouth just intime as 
his cum began spurting onto my tits and face.  Then bravely I enveloped his 
still spending rod in my mouth and sucked and swallowed with every throb of 
his dick until it was limp once more.
     When he had completely relaxed, I stretched out on my back beside him.  
Jeff rolled over and sort of lay half on and half off me.  Placing one hand 
on my chest he began to rub the cum that had landed there into my tits.  
It felt good, so I just lay there and let him do it.
     After a few minutes, I poked my head out from under the blanket and 
couldn't see anyone around at all.  I could smell the charcoal and the hot 
dogs and figured that the others were on the other side of the island at 
the pavillion cooking.  The rain had evidently scared off everyone else 
and we had no competition for the facility.
     At that moment, I was not the least bit interested in food.  I just 
hoped that Jeff wasn't too hungry.  The sun was out again, so I reached 
over to the plastic carry-all and pulled out a dry towel.  I tossed back 
the corner of the blanket and crawled out.  Jeff just lay there, hands 
folded under his head, and watched me as I wrapped myself in the towel.  
I knelt down beside him and flipped the blanket off his groin area.  I 
giggled at what I saw.  It just lay there lying over to one side.
     Jeff laughed, "I think you killed him."
     I had a perverse thought and acted on it.  "Perhaps he just needs a 
little mouth to mouth resuscitation."  I bent at the waist and poked at 
his lifeless member with my tongue.  I giggled again, "I think it may be 
too late."
     Jeff raised his head and looked down.  He let a frown cross his 
features and said, "Aren't you going to at least try?"
     "You're right, I better try."  I took it in my hand and held it 
upright. Very slowly I let my face descend toward it.  "Slow motion, like 
in the movies," I added.  Jeff laughed.
     His laugh stopped abruptly as my mouth covered the end of his cock 
and licked around it a couple of time.  There was an immediate reaction.  
I leaned back and looked at the cock again.  Then seriously said, "I think 
we have a chance." 
     Jeff's cock was not like Robbies in another respect.  Robbie had been 
circumcised so that there was no foreskin around his mushroom-shaped glans.  
Jeff, on the other hand, although circumcised, still had an abundant and 
fleshy foreskin.  Befiore I took him into my mouth again, I wrapped a hand 
around the shaft and pushed down.  The foreskin simply slid back, and the 
head was just like Robbie's, only a little smaller.  Also, instead of 
being sort of purple, Jeff's was mostly pink.  
     This time I placed my mouth just on the head and began to deliver a 
slight sucking pressure.  Then I removed my hand and took as much of 
Jeff's tool into my mouth as I could without gagging.  After only a lick 
or three, his cock was a full size and rigidity again.  My position was 
that my knees were drawn up under me and were against Jeff's hips.  I was 
bent over at the waist so I could reach his cock with my mouth.  I was not 
aware of how vulnerable I was until, I felt Jeff's hand on my ass.
     He didn't keep it there for long, however.  He had succeeded in
finding my pussy from behind with his fingers.  True, he could no 
accomplish much with the way I was positioned, so I shifted my body until 
I could work my thighs apart.  This allowed him to play along my cunny 
lips, but was not very effective as a clitoral stimulant.  I liked it 
anyway.
     I leaned back once more and looked at what a good job I had done 
reviving him.  The next thing I did was totally spontaneous on my part, 
and inspired by a picture I had seen in a magazine when I was 14.  Standing 
on my knees, I turned until I could put my left thigh across Jeff's groin.  
Straddling him that way, I gripped his cock in my hand and carefully 
positioned first him and then me until I took the tip between my still 
cum-lubricated pussy lips.  Squatting there, I lowered my cunt onto his 
dick until I had my knees almost even with my shoulders.
     When I hit bottom, both of us grunted.  Jeff's eyes were closed and 
his mouth was open.  I leaned forward to put my breasts on his chest, and 
so I could kiss him.  I didn't quite make it.  I was so short, and I was 
trying to reach so far, that his cock slipped out and sort of smacked me 
on the ass.  Wiggling my body down his, I repositioned myself.  This time, 
I just sat on him with my legs spread in a split.  Cheerleaders can do 
wonderful things with their bodies.
     I still had to raise my bottom up and reach between us to guide him 
in, but it was no problem that second time.  He went in easily once more.  
The same groan issued from both of us again.  The next time I leaned 
forward, I was satisfied to find his nipples under my mouth.  I began to 
lick and nibble at them.  The way his hips bucked, I thought he was going 
to throw me off.  
     "Oh, god.  Cin...Cin...," he just moaned.
     Then I sat up and began to ride him.  My knees were now splayed out 
to his side as I pulled my feet back so if I were not on him, I would be 
sitting on my heels.  Placing a hand on his chest, I climbed his pole.  
As I lowered myself back down, his hands came up and cupped my breasts.  
And I just continued to ride him up and down.  Occassionally I could feel 
his body sort of jerk.  Each such spasm was accompanied by his hands either 
locking hard on my breasts or a sudden pinch of my nipples.  Both actions 
just enflamed me.  I began to ride him faster, up and down, up and down, 
until I wanted to feel the orgasm still locked inside me.
     Not knowing how to accomplish it, but going by what I had learned, 
I let my hips roll under and back so Jeff's hard-on was rubbing against 
my clitoris. What I had not anticipated was that such a move would set 
him off.  He groaned loudly once, like the wind had been knocked from his 
and his cock was pouring out its viscous libation once more.  Frantically, 
I tried to maintain the rhythm that had gone awry by his climax, but it 
was too late.  It appeared that was out again.  I even wondered if I was 
just "lucky" that he had brought me off earlier.
     Actually, I had nothing to measure him against.  What I know today 
is that Jeff must have been a truly remarkable lover.  There are not too 
many who can lay claim to his knowledge and prowess at his age.  I think 
that Kevin was probably more of the run of the mill.  Nice to be with, but 
ignorant of women. Compared to Jeff, Kevin was a floundering infant.
     Just when I thought it was over, Jeff sat up.  He was still inside 
me and the feeling of him changing position was somewhat...different.  
I could feel his cock sort of withdraw, but as he pulled my legs forward, 
I sort of sank down on it a little.  Then he just let me drop back as he 
rolled forward.  I was on my back, my head pointing downhill, and Jeff 
was between my legs.
     I started to raise my legs to his side like before, but he leaned 
into meeven further and pushed my legs so that they were bent up to my 
chest.  Then, inspite of his height, he put my heels on his shoulders.  
With his arms outstretched, hands planted on the ground on either side of 
my head, he began to move.  Now, I thought that his first move would be 
to withdraw, but instead he pushed forward.  Never again will I think he 
was small.  I'm sure it was the position, but when he drove himself deeper, 
his angle caused him to jab into the forwar end of my cervix.  I found it 
to be an extremely uncomfortable feeling, but as he began to pump out, then 
back in until he was pistoning in and out very rapidly, it didn't matter 
any more.  
     There was his wonderful thumb on my clitoris again.  He didn't have 
to move it.  He just sort of locked it in place, and our movements provided 
all the stimulation necessary.  While not as intense as the previous orgasms, 
it was nevertheless lovely, because as I peaked, I could feel my involuntary 
spasms begin to grip and release his cock.  And then all I could do was grunt 
and explode around him as he kept right on driving the thing home against 
my poor cervix.  This time I just closed my eyes and let myself relax.
     Jeff never missed a stroke.  He just kept pounding away at my body, 
but I felt so wonderfully drained that I did not mind.  He had already cum 
three times and I just supposed that four was pushing it .  About that time, 
however, he began to chant, "Cin, yes, ohhh.  Ahhh..mmm.,,oh Cin...dy..," 
and then  could tell it was happening again.  I let a hand move between us 
and my thumb and forefinger encircled is throbbing cock.  I just let it 
glide wetly between my fingers until Jeff just collapsed on me again.  I 
had to wiggle just a bit to get my legs free and down from their height.
     Suddenly, I was flooded with love and compassion that could not be 
denied.  There was something more than sex that I wanted.  I stroked the 
back of Jeff's head with one hand while I fought the lump than came into 
my throat. The feel of his penis as it shrank inside me, only heightened
the feeling.  I was overwhelmed by an emotion that I still remember as one 
of joy.  As Jeff rolled to one side, I rolled with him, his legs still 
between mine.  His cock plopped wetly from my pussy to lay on my inner thigh.
     I knew I had liked him a lot, but  it had become more than just 
"liking." What had happened was of paramount importance.  I had given Jeff 
my ultimate,  and more.  I didn't want to loose the guy who got my "true 
virginity."  Oh, how naive I was.  I blurted out, "I love you, Jeff."  I 
said it as much to apologize for getting upset about being "safe" as much 
as anything, but I really meant it and wanted to tell him so.
     His reaction was totally unexpected, "Cin,  I - I like you..uh.. a 
lot, but, well, you know...this was just for...ahhh.. fun.  Tami's in Europe 
for the summer and... well.. we ....Gosh, Cin, I don't know what to say."
     I exploded.  "You...you...bastard.  You've been dating me for almost 
two months and never one time did you mention that stuck up little bitch!"  
I began to slap and hit at him.  "You fucked me!  You fucked me!  Damn you!"  
I screamed as my fists flailed at him.  He tried to get hold of my wrists, 
but I started pushing myself out from under him with my feet.  "Get away 
from me!  You tricked me!  You let me...do...all those things to you!"  
I was sobbing uncontrollably as he still held my wrists.  Let GO!"  I was 
now standing, kicking at him, when satisfying thing that could have 
happened, did happen.  My right foot trying to push me further from him 
slipped and landed solidly in his crotch.  Jeff dropped into a fetal 
position grabbing his privates I suppose.  Then I was out of the blanket, 
standing there in the raw, the towel having dropped to lay around my feet.
     Retrieving the towel, I kicked once more at his groaning form, I 
retrieved my bikini and put it back on.  When I felt his juices running 
from my pussy and down my leg, I burst into tears and ran down to the water 
and jumped in.  Swimming out a ways, I pulled the bikini off and used my 
hands to try to clean myself, even trying to pull the sticky strings of 
semen from my vagina.  I rinsed the bathing suit, put it on and swam for 
shore.  I walked to where Jeff was kneeling still holding his crotch.  I 
almost gagged when I saw the puddle where he had vomited.  I just said, 
"Bastard!  I hope I broke it" and walked away.
     Deanna and Bobby, and Beth and Woody were on the other side of the 
island grilling hot dogs.  Their knowing look did not escape me as I tried 
to look nonchalant.  Beth, who was not one of my favorite people in the world 
said, "Tami is sure going to be pissed at you when she gets back."
     "Shut up, dick breath." I shot back.  Shocked wasn't the word for her 
look.
     So that's the way it happened for me.  I didn't speak to Jeff again 
that day.  On the way home I rode in the back with Deanna and made Bobby 
sit up front.  Dick Breath did shut up.  You better believe Tami was pissed 
when she got back.  They say she used a knee to finish what I started.  
Jeff went on to basketball glory and made a name for himself at a SEC 
university.  I never spoke to him again.  Last I heard he had knocked up 
a university variety cheerleader and her father made all the wedding 
arrangements.  The pro scouts finally quit looking at him after he ruined 
a knee.  
     The saddest story was Kevin.  He wasn't able to make varsity at Wake 
Forest, but was satisfied just doing well in school.  He married a girl he 
met in Winston-Salem while he was a Junior.  During his senior year Kevin was 
diagnosed as having leukemia.  He lived just one year after it was found.  
It never went into remission.  I'm not sure what happened to his wife
     Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Tami.  Well we became very good friends 
throughout my senior year of high school.  I found out that she had been 
screwing Jeff ever since middle school.  After some of the stories she told 
me, it was no wonder Jeff was as good as he was.  They had gotten their sex 
education from "some books" they had found, and started to experiment when 
she was 14.  She dumped him because he was always on the make.  It seems that 
he had been giving and taking "intimacy" instructions with several of the 
girls at school.  I was just another link in the chain.
     Tammy and I both went to the University of Maryland, but she tossed in 
the towel when a local restaurant owner promised to love, honor and cherish 
her, as well as shower her with anything she wants.  She told me recently on 
a visit that although he is 15 years her senior, they have a good marriage, 
and that she fucks his brains out on a regular basis.  All that book-learning 
I suppose.  And their twin girls are just precious.
     As for me, I had become appalled at my erratic sexual conduct.  It seemed 
that after a time of abstinence, I would do just fine.  But when I gave in to 
the emotions that besieged me from time to time, I turned into what I would 
define as a wanton slut.  My sexual nature seemingly had no conscience, only 
a drive.  Except for the three episodes I have described, I had no other 
intimate sexual encounters until I graduated from high school.  Furthermore, 
my sex life after the encounter with Jeff until the summer I turned 23 was 
pretty tame.
     In the intervening years, I dated only when I really wanted to except 
for the forced dates during sorority rush, and even though I found the man 
I'm going to marry, I was able to avoid further overtly promiscuous episodes.
My fiance knows that I'm not a virgin, but he has respected my wishes that we 
hold our passions until we are married.  What I haven't told him is how I 
spent my 23rd birthday in New York City right after I left his parents' home 
in Buffalo....but that's in the next episode.